Lately, if you read my blog entries, you will find that I struggle with my work project that seems like never-ending project. The project that began about a year ago and should be completed in about 4-5 months is postponed until now. Though I know the main issues that caused the project was delayed were management and personal relation, I still wonder if there were still other factors that involved.
The main problem might be my skills and my own thought. I must admit that I have higher technical skills than my teammates, also with more experiences rather than them. Having skills don’t always mean you are at the advantage, unless your skills are not too far from your teammates skills. When you have much better skills, everyone will find you can handle everything for them and even the hardest problems will be able to be solved by your superior skills. In the end, they just do what they think they can do, even far before they hit the limit.
Sometimes, you have to take the blame from your teammates when something goes wrong. Take the example, you are a senior engineer in your team, and all your teammates are a newbie in the industry, with zero skills. Even when they have skills, the skill just limited in simulation which happened when they take the course in college. The first responsibilities as a senior in your teams is to teach them, from just the bottom of the sea a.k.a. the basics, to the peak of mountain a.k.a advanced. This should be easy if you teach them once, and they get all the things you teach them before. The problems happen when everybody have different processing speed, the ones who are smart enough can learn fast, but the unlucky ones will have to stay behind. And usually it will be your fault if you leave your teammates behind.
You have better experience to them, so with better experience you are the perfect figure for them, and should not be fail when doing anything. Fail is for the newbie, success is for professional. Yeah, as if experience assures your success 100% of times. I can give you that 100% if you give the logic problems that I can always control, however when it comes to projects which have to deal with humans and their activities, even the most experienced people might still meet failure. Of course, they tend to have strategy to prevent and to mitigate the risk, but risks are still risks, which might or might not happens.
Well, that’s what I feel as a senior, but there is similar matter with worse condition: someone who doesn’t have experience and no skill, but still confident enough to blame you for everything without looking at the other factors that may cause the project fail, when at the same time place a blame to him / her self because he/she doesn’t push the teammates enough to do the best they can. Hey, you are not the one who should responsible and now after placing blame to other people, you blame yourself too? If you really want to take blame that much after blaming other people, why don’t you try to position yourself in that people place before blaming those people???
Okay, I need to calm my self or I might write bad things here. Sometimes I done the exact same things though, blaming people, and then feel guilty, sooooo… nevermind, it doesn’t matter.
Sure being skillful is nice, you can be proud by your skill, you can tell everyone that you are awesome, you can mock other people that they’re sucks at doing things (if you are cruel enough), you can sell your skills in the career life, and the list goes on and on and on… Even in the life-or-death condition, your skills may keep you alive when other people will say “good bye” first in this world, just imagine the zombie apocalypse. In reality, there is disadvantage when people have super high expectation about you, or perhaps some people might just use you for your high skills.
One more things that worth to note is that sometimes I believe I have all my skills simply because I’m a prodigy in this and that. Ughh, I must admit that this thought is the worst thought I always have. I’m in my mid 20 and still think I’m a prodigy? Being skillful is somehow burdening for your social life, and now to think myself is a prodigy, it’s like I take challenge myself far deeper.